Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
