At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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