Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
