census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
