hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
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