It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
