I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
