thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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