wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
