I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize