just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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