Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
