were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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