Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
