Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
