i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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