Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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