WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize