would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
i think im in europe. pls send help
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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