operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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