I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
