Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
it's like iHOP with fire
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
