Dual....:-)
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
