they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
