Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
