Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
