Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
only if we run a train.
done.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
