I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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