First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
it's great music for shaving your balls
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
