I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
i believe in u and ur pee
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