Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
