Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
