dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
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