You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
