Who wears a wallet chain?!
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
