If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
