If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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