That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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