Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
