Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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