Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize