So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
