Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
