I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
