All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
