you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
