who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
