I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
