I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
