the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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