We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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