I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Dicks are not precious.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
