I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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