I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
did i just pee glitter
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
