Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
