Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
