He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize