So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
