Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
