Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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