ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
