hell yes lets make some ravioli
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
